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Holy gods. I just read through last night's thread and apparently, I say "shit" a whole lot when I'm drunk. And I'm a cheap date! I did not, for the record, drunk text the pitching coach, but it crossed my mind, I won't lie. Oh, crap. I have a headache and that whole "working out to get it out of your system" thing is…

After letting the girls out again yesterday and getting a bit of sunburn, today was tan the back day, and now my ass is quite possibly in need of sunscreen. Or just a good rubdown with lotion after my shower, which is now necessary. For all sorts of reasons.

Hahahaha, all the girls going apoplectic over the Jon Snow quote about eating burgers on a date: of course you can eat a burger in front of guy and maintain your usual level of Hollywood emaciation! Everyone knows you're just going to excuse yourself to the ladies' room to hurl it all back up!

Sunshine two days in a row! I got out to the deck yesterday, but my kid was out of school, so I had my sports bra on, instead of letting the girls flap about in the breeze, and now I have squirrely-look tan lines. And it's 20 degrees colder today, so I don't think I'll be remedying that any time soon. Fie! Spring…

Days like this call for the sunroof to be open, and Sublime or the Dirty Heads blasting out the CD player. Why can't every day be like today? The only thing that would make it better is a strawberry daquiri served in the nude by Pitching Coach, followed by a personal massage while naked on the deck.

It was actually nice enough to sit outside today on my deck, so I was able to let the boobs out for some air and sun whilst dreaming about the way Pitching Coach was looking yesterday in his baseball pants. It was a pleasant to way to pass two hours. Now I think I'll go take a shower. You know, to get clean and all.

I have to parent brag. I HAVE TO. Boygerbil finally got to play in a varsity game today, as a freshman - he pitched the last three innings of his game! Three! No one scored on him, andandand his very first varsity at-bat, he hit it out to right field for a single! He is a very happy boy tonight and I am a very happy…

Every once in a while, I wish it wasn't a bad thing to show off you body on the internet, as I've got really nice tits and wouldn't mind letting everyone know that. And I don't mean really nice tits for a 50 year-old, I mean for any age.

I have never, ever, ever missed one sporting event my son has played in, from soccer, to basketball, to flag football, to volleyball, to baseball. Until today. His varsity team was traveling to Northern Virginia (about four hours away), and I didn't want to make the drive alone and have to call the dog sitters…

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I am obsessed with this commercial; that little girl is absolutely the cutest damned thing I've ever seen in my life, and her facial expressions are precious. She is utterly delightful and her cheeks - I bet her grandma squeezes those chubby little cheeks daily! As far as commercials go, this is one that I never,…

I was actually persusing the comments the other day wherein exercise videos were being discussed and recommended, and decided that Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred might be something I could handle. So I bought it yesterday, and once I figure out how to work my DVD player, which may or may not even be plugged in, I'm…

Can someone explain to me why I should get all excited about this assinine Lululemon yoga pants crisis? Because a certain demographic of label-obsessed women are stupid enough to shell out $100 for a pair of stretchy pants that, let's be honest, don't work any bit better at making your ass look good than the $25 pair…